HIGH PRICE
by Sego
beaulieu@club-internet.fr

They keep saying they understand... But they don't.
They keep telling me things are gonna be alright... They won't.
She wants to share my pain... I wanna keep it selfishly.
"Years will heal your heart" she said... I don't want my heart to be healed. I just don't want my heart to be anymore.
Because he's gone.
And I'm still here. Left alone... As I'll always be. 
And my soul bleeds; and my eyes scream; and my heart hurts... so much.
He's gone.
Nothing they say reaches me. I can see it, hidden deeply in their eyes : None of my friends wanted to pay the cost. Yet, *I* did.
And *he* is gone.
And their first loved ones are still by their side.
He's gone.
I spent all my life protecting the ones I cared for and today I hate myself. I couldn't save him, couldn't protect him. Was it because I wasn't able to love him enough? 
No. 
I loved him with all my heart, body and soul.
And he's gone though.
Never, shall I love anymore.
Never.
Nobody else matters, not even those who are secretly scrutinizing themselves in my lifeless eyes. 
Because today I lost him.
Today I lost a reason to live.
Today I lost myself.
He's gone.
I can feel them looking for me, but I'm not inside. I'm an empty shell.
Had I thought it was the cost, I would have closed my heart before him. Just as it was before I met them. Before I met her.
She dove right inside of me, destroyed all my walls, stone by stone, with a single smile. Compassion. She then took my hand and led me outside. 
But she won't have to lose her soulmate.
So this time, that cheerful smile invites me to pick up the stones and build walls again. Where I could be alone with him. 
In a world he would still be alive. 
In a world he would still be young and healthy.
In a world I wouldn't have to pay that cost.
The price of immortality.

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	Thousands of thoughts to Doug Helm "Candle Light Author" for the sailormoon fanfics he gave us with "Tuxedo" Will Wolfshohl.
	Thanks a lot to the cutest cats ever, Luna and Artemis, for having posted this little Fic o' mine on their website http://www.moonromance.com